BREAKING NEWS RE: FASTEST MAN IN EMMAUS!!!!!

Based on recent performances on the Lunch Ride and Dream Come True, the FME Council called a special session.

The title of Fastest Man in Emmaus has officially passed from Acura Matt to . . .

to . . .


to . . .

to . . .

to . . .

yes . . .

you know it . . .

you've felt it . . .

you've seen it . . .

admit it . . .

DUANE!

Palmares of Duane:
* Seems really fast at the Bridge Sprint
* Wears full kit to spectate at Thursday Night Crit
* Hung right in there at Dream Come True
* Could have nailed a chick who then could have nailed Mario Cipollini — and nobly opted out
* Is unemployed and will likely get faster
* Winner, 2008 Lehigh Valley Ride of Silence

A Brief Recap of FME History
ACURA MATT
Reign: Jan-May 2008
Palmares: Beat a former FME at Bulldog * Top 5 at Derby * Finished ahead of Pearson at Macungie Park town sign sprint

CHARLES OPIRO
Reign: Sept. 2007-2008
Palmares: Pretty fast for a guy from Uganda who'd never been on a bike before * Plus we thought it was funny to give him the title

PLUNKETT
Reign: May 2007-Sept 2007
Palmares: Rode several Lehigh Valley Wheelman right off the back of the group at Dream Come True * Super Intern admitted Plunkett was "not bad, almost there." * Started dating a fast chick * Happened to be hanging around when we decided Yozell was too fast to be the Fastest Man in Emmaus

YOZELL
Reign: April 2007-May 2007
Palmares: Fast

BILL STRICKLAND
Reign: April 2004-March 2007
Palmares: His idea * Concurrently held Fastest Slow Guy title (still active) * One time Taus didn't know they were sprinting, so Bill beat him

I heard he won the "Ride of Silence" last night on a fixed gear

http://www.mcall.com/news/local/all-b_pg003_e5b3_5ridehb20080521234654,0,6636142.photo

If you win the Ride of Silence, but nobody can hear your victory, do you still get the point?

I've amended Duane's palmares to include his most recent triumph.